lately i have been down a rough road. the end of my mission is drawing nigh and the work in my current area has been a bit slow and more difficult than any other area that i have served in. everyday that i wake up i fight with myself and it takes all that i have to get up and get going. now i am not one that will give in or give up easily. i like to fight and i like that challenge, but this is a time that has been harder that any other time on my mission. i know that a mission can be hard but i never thought it would be this hard. i have been praying earnestly and fervently for strength and patience and acceptance with what i have been facing. i know that my Father in Heaven is with me and that he does love me, but i have truly felt alone lately.
a couple of days ago i was reading my scriptures in 3 Nephi 26 and i came across verse 11, and it hit me hard what the lord said, "I will try the faith of my people." he really does try our faith. i knew at this point that i was and still am facing a trial in my life, because He wants me to grow and to prepare for what is next. i know that He is with me. He led me and helped me to understand, that just as the scripture in Doctrine and Covenants 121:7 reads, "..., peace be unto thy soul; thine adversity and thine afflictions shall be but a small moment."
it is great to know that as we read the scriptures that we can be taught and can receive so many answers to our prayers. as i was getting ready to blog today about trials i remembered a scripture found in Ether 12:6 that reads, "...I would show unto the world that faith is things which are hoped for and not seen; wherefore, dispute not because ye see not, for ye receive no witness until after the trial of your faith." we really do receive so many blessings after we go through trials and as we fight for what is right. trials help us to know what it is that the Lord would have us do in our times of need and discouragement. when we are willing to follow after Him then we are showing that we are "walking by faith and not by sight' (2 Cor 5:7)
trials really are for us to grow and learn. even though i have had a hard time personally, i know that it is only through our trials that we can find ourselves. after all it is not our trial that defines us but refines us.
when i think about this as i have relived all of this as i have typed, i realize that i am fighting i am not giving in and that Heavenly Father is with me and He always has been. i know that He loves me, i just need that reminder ever so often. it is about fighting with Christ not against him that matters the most, and has helped me to continue moving. not stopping for even a brief moment, unless it is a time for learning and teaching.
our purpose is to prepare to meet God (Alma 34:32), and if that means going through trial after trial then i will make it through, because i know that i am being perfected every step of the way. i know that because our Heavenly Father loves us and that he will continue to guide us and help us to make it through. we need to take His arm that he has so graciously and mercifully offered unto us.